So I haven't blogged in months, and to be completely honest I haven't been losing weight with. I anything I've put it on. At one point I was within 5lbs of goal. Now I'm about a stone that's a massive 14lbs above goal. I feel as if I'm about 60lbs from goal- bloated, fat and hate looking in the mirror at myself.
Which is weird as every aspect of my life s going really well - I've just got a promotion at work, my relationship with my boyfriend makes me happier than I have been in months, and makes me wonder why I put up barriers for so long.
So why do I hate looking in the mirror? One theory is that my weight gain and struggle to get the weight off again is because I've had the implant fitted and one of the side effects is weight gain. Have you ever had an issue with this?
The other theory is that life is getting in the way, I shouldn't use this as an excuse. My boyfriend is completely supportive of weight watchers, I have a gym membership, I work shifts so can exercise. Which means its me being lazy. Which is probably the case. When I first started weight watchers I had the drive and enthusiasm to lose it, I still have that niggling in the back of my head, somewhere. But I never imagined that I'd be in the 10stone range, wearing size 10-12's. I sometimes think I'm comfortable here, knowing I've still got a bit to lose but I'm not unhealthy. Because getting to goal scares the sh*t out of me. I've worked for 3+ years to get there, what do I do when I get there?
I guess I need a kick up the ass, someone to relight my ignition, for my enthusiasm to return. It's not like I don't want to lose this last stone, it's on my mind every single day. I don't want to let people who have supported me down, and I don't want to let myself down.
Do you have any tips for kicking yourself up the bum to getting back on track?
Ideally I'd love to go back to meetings, but with shifts at work that's not the right option for me right now, which means online is the way forward. Unless I consider a different plan?
Apologies that this post is a bit long winded and not very structured I just needed to get this off my chest. Admit that I'm struggling to shift this weight and that help would be greatly appreciated.
Lots of love xx